At first, it may seem as though taking care of your elderly mother is relatively simple and straightforward, but it can lead to anxiety. It might not lead to anxiety just for you, either. Your mother could feel the effect of anxiety and stress infiltrating her life, not because of the challenges and struggles she’s facing as she ages, but because you are her primary caregiver.
Home care is a great topic to discuss, especially among family members who are changing their life patterns to support somebody else.
This doesn’t mean you don’t care.
This is one of the most common things people think when they consider bringing up the topic of home care, especially if they have become de facto family caregivers. They think it is their responsibility, their job.
They take that seriously, too. As well you should. However, it’s not the responsibility of adult children or grandchildren to look after aging loved ones in their time of need.
Yes, you want to be there for them, you want to support them, but when you are a caregiver, it is going to take up a lot of your time and energy, thus keeping you away from other things that may have been important, too. Some adult children have less and less time for their own children, careers, and other personal responsibilities when they are taking care of aging parents.
How do you bring up the topic?
If all of your time is being devoted to your mother at this point in your life, something has to change, especially if you are feeling the effects of stress and anxiety. If you are not sleeping well, are snapping at people more often, having trouble keeping thoughts and appointments together, and otherwise being distracted mentally, it’s probably the result of stress.
You need help.
The first thing you can do is learn as much as you can about home care. Don’t hang your hat on presumptions because some of them could be rooted in misconceptions. Learn the benefits that home care can provide.
Then, talk about the things your mother might have given up, things you can help her with, things that are causing challenges in your relationship between the two of you, and then when she begins talking about things she misses, things she wishes were different, you can then bring the topic around to home care gently and easily. This a great way to help both of you during this difficult time.
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